Hi, friends! Long time, no talk. It’s been really quiet around here in the past month. Not in my life by any means (it’s a little cray at the moment), but in my soul.
After a nudging from the Holy Spirit to step away from all the noise and distraction that is social media, I took the leap, logged out, and deleted all my apps. At the time, one month felt like a century. HELLO FOMO. How was I ever going to survive being the only one who was disconnected and not knowing what was going on in the world?! What about my blog and growth?! Except, by the end of the month, I was thinking, “I could do this forever.” Y’all, I genuinely considered deleting everything and never looking back.
You see, when I stepped off of social media, I didn’t really know why other than the fact that I felt God leading me to take a break. But the past month of quiet was the most soothing balm to my soul. Of course the Lord knew exactly what I needed. If I were to use the words “life changing” it might seem a little bit dramatic, but honestly, I’m not sure I will ever be the same after this past month.
The first few days were spent realizing that I was in fact addicted to my phone. Countless times of picking up my phone only to set it back down realizing that there was nothing for me to do with it. You don’t realize the time that racks up during the day on your phone. You scroll for a few minutes here and there, and before you know it, by the end of the day, you’ve accumulated hours of phone usage. It was truly shocking the amount of time I had left over in my day when it wasn’t being sucked up by technology.
At first, I didn’t really know what to do with the silence. For so long I had stuffed full the crevices of my day with noise, it was like the silence was almost jarring. I had to get used to quiet again. I had to get used to still. But very quickly, the quiet came like a rushing wind, filling my lungs. And for the first time in a long time, I felt like I could finally breathe again. For the first time in my adult-life, I felt fully present.
It all sounds a little euphoric, a little “to good to be true”, as I’m writing this. But there is no other way for me to explain it than this. When I laid something down, stepped back in obedience, and got quiet, God did something truly incredible in my life.
The past two years of this new season of adulthood, I’ve struggled long and hard with being present and content. Nothing about my job, where I lived, my lack of friends, my distant family, and my extremely busy husband where anything that I had ever planned for or imagined in this season. I’ve never cried and wrestled with God so much in my life. No matter how hard I tried, my little restless soul wouldn’t slow; always wanting the next season, the new place, the closer friend, etc. etc. I’ve had some seasons that were better than others these past few years, but “being present” is something the Lord has really been working in me this whole time. And as silly as it sounds, putting down my phone and getting quiet was just what I needed for the Lord to open my eyes.
When I wasn’t concerned with what so-and-so was doing, I had way more time to be concerned with the people God has placed right in front of me. When I wasn’t able to see what family or friends were posting, I wasn’t able to get my feelings hurt for the ways that people interacted with others and not with me. When I didn’t spend hours a day on my phone, I had lots of other crevices of my day to fill with prayer, reading books, and taking walks! (I LOVE BOOKS. P.S. AND WALKS…and sometimes I forget it) When I wasn’t scrolling through Instagram as I waited for an appointment or sat at the airport, I got to sit and be available to conversations with strangers around me. When I wasn’t trying to share every moment with everyone else, it became more special somehow. When I stopped looking down all the time and finally looked up, my eyes were opened to the beautiful life I’m living.
I wish I could sit down with you and tell you all the conversations, discipleship opportunities, relationships, and fruit that have come from me being intentional with my life again. It’s been so fun and freeing to be present again. To wake up and say, “Okay Lord, what do you have for me today? Don’t let me miss it.” Whether it’s a conversation to be had, an encouraging comment, a friendly wave, serving, giving, or just purely delighting in HIM and the good gifts HE has given us. I don’t wanna miss it. God sovereignly placed me right here, right now, and every single moment of my day has purpose.
Now hear this, I’m not saying that social media is the devil. I’m not saying that you can’t be present while engaging online. And I’m not saying that I will never use it again. Because I already have and I continually will. But I do want us to take a step back and really evaluate the way we are using our time. I want us to take a step back and assess how present we are in this season. And I want us to look at the healthiness of our souls. Maybe that does mean laying something down (social media or something else) and getting quiet for a time like I did, or maybe it’s something different for you. But I’m praying now that you will experience the revelation and freedom that I did from this time. Get quiet. Be present.
So here’s to less posts that make our generation think that being an Instagram model, professional artist, or public speaker are the only ways to “do ministry” or make an impact for the Kingdom. And more posts that find the gospel woven into my everyday, simple, mundane moments that are impacting eternity.
Here’s to less time spent on time-sucking things and more time filling my lungs and heart with the things that truly give me life.
Here’s to less time connecting online and more time connecting face to face.
And here’s to less time looking down, and more time fixing my eyes and looking UP.
Blooming with you,