When I was single, I thought I was pretty cool with not having a guy in my life.
I’m a pretty independent girl and told myself a lot that I didn’t need a guy. I had big plans for myself and if a guy came along, great and if not I’d be fine. But deep down I didn’t really believe that. I think I only said that to myself out of fear. Fear that a guy wouldn’t come along and that my deepest longings wouldn’t be filled. I wanted to find “the guy”, I wanted to be loved & I wanted to live happily ever after. What girl doesn’t?!
My independence and self talk were merely blankets to prepare myself just in case my desire would never be met, but deep down there was a bigger issue that needed more than a blanket’s help.
I know all of this because “the guy” did come along, and he was tall, dark, and handsome. He loved Jesus, had a wonderful family, had dreams & ambition… just about everything I had ever dreamed of. He pursued me the old fashion way, he made me laugh, gave me butterflies, and told me I was beautiful. Straight from a movie– every girl’s dream. This was “the guy”!!! My deepest desires were fulfilled. My dreams were coming true. Eeep. My life could now be complete! ….right?!
As time went on, I began to feel a little bit disappointed or maybe a better word would be restless. This is the guy of my dreams…everything I could have wanted (Literally. Greatest guy you will know!!!) We are getting married. We’re graduating college. Life is GREAT, exactly what I’ve hoped for…but I’m still not content? What’s the deal?
*cue major conviction and realization from the Holy Spirit*
Let me tell you the deal. I was finding, or at least trying to find, my contentment in everything else but God. Even though I wasn’t aware of it, I had placed my “satisfaction” & hope in finding a husband and getting married. When I was single, I truly think I believed that getting married was like the peak of my life or something? I would have never admitted that, even to myself… but I think I really did believe that. Then, when I got everything I had ever wanted, I was left feeling even more restless than before. It was still not enough. And it will never be enough.
Christ is the only thing that can ever satisfy my heart. Ever. I can search this world high and low and always come up empty.
But that’s the thing, we are always searching aren’t we? Searching for the next best thing to chase after. “If only I could find the perfect guy…then..” , “If only I could have the perfect body…then..”, “If only I could make more money…then..”
and on and on and on.
Let me tell you right now, friend, this world has nothing to offer you. Don’t buy into the lies that Satan is bombarding you with. You can be content right here and now, single or married, poor or rich, sick or healthy… Christ is completely sufficient. We were made to be satisfied in Him alone.
Getting married was one of the best things that has ever happened to me (for a million and one reasons). For it was when I had everything I could have ever wanted that I realized I was missing it all.
May we take after Paul. Oh, Father,
let this be true of our lives:
“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:11-13