The Most Important Thing I Learned in my First Year of Marriage

Marriage has been used to teach me a number of things in just one short year. I am so excited to continue to see the fruits of sanctification that come from the covenant with my husband in the years to come. Something that has changed everything, brought so much fulfillment, and  isn’t taught enough is what I would consider to be the most important and foundational thing I have learned.

  • As a wife, making your husband the most important ministry in your life is not only obedient but it is truly a JOY.

This one may not be popular, but it is honestly my favorite. When my husband and I were first talking about marriage and our plans for the future, I remember being slightly frustrated or anxious with the way things were going to be playing out. Independence has always been in my nature, I love to be my own person…which can be a great quality & a huge weakness all in one. When it comes to the roles of husband and wife, I have never had a problem with the idea of submission… I was totally at peace with that, but my uneasiness came from wanting to pursue my own dreams and at the time not wanting to merely be “Dr. Wilson’s wife”. With Braden going into medicine, we knew the road was going to be a long one, especially before he gets his first pay check. Knowing that I wanted to be a stay at home Mom one day, meant that pursuing post-grad schooling only to work for a few years, have no pay check while Braden was in school, and acquire more debt wasn’t wise for us. We made the decision (together) for me not to pursue any sort of career, which left me searching for seemingly “random” jobs and not even using my college degree.

The road to that decision was VERY humbling. At times I even felt embarrassed when people would ask me what I was going to do when I graduated. But let me tell you, over the course of our engagement, God completely changed my heart. He humbled me, demolished the lies in my mind and showed me His truth in scripture.

First off, my identity is not in what I do or don’t do. My identity is rooted in Christ alone (John 1:12, 1 Corinthians 6:17, Colossians 3:4). Listening to the lies of culture that tell me I have to be empowered and go establish a name for myself apart from or maybe even in spite of my husband is bologna. Next, Genesis 2:18, “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” So although God created both man and woman equally in his image, we were created to carry out different roles– one not being superior to the other, but both working together to bring glory to The Father. Lastly, look at the Proverbs 31 wife, the picture in scripture of God’s will for a wife…her life revolved around her husband, children, & home and she was filled with great satisfaction from it.

By the grace of God, the day we said our vows, I was excited to step into my role and be the helper that Braden Wilson needed. And I can honestly say in the 14 months we have been married…I have then learned what a TRUE JOY it is to be that helper. Never one time have I looked back and thought, “I wish I could have pursued my own thing instead of marrying this guy”.

Ladies! God has literally wired and instructed us to be a helper to our husbands. Aside from our relationship with the Lord, our husbands are to be our first priority. All of this to say, it does NOT mean that we can’t pursue anything or have dreams. God wants to use YOU and he gives you dreams and desires to pursue things that are glorifying to Him. I have been so fired up and had true joy in pursuing writing and Living Unshackled- but no matter what happens or what I am doing, Braden and his pursuits are my first ministry and Living Unshackled comes second. What’s cool is that since God literally created/wired us to be a helper for our husband, when we are operating in His will in this area we can: 1.) Have freedom to be the helper our husband needs & also live out our individual calling & 2.) Gain so much joy and fulfillment because we are operating in the way that our Creator created us. How awesome!!!

Truly thankful that in a year and a half God has been so sweet and gracious to completely change my heart in this area. Over the past year+some, I have learned something that I think will be truly foundational for the years ahead. There is almost nothing that excites me more than to be the helper to my husband’s ministry & I could not be more honored to hold the title of “Braden Wilson’s wife”.

2 thoughts on “The Most Important Thing I Learned in my First Year of Marriage

  1. Oh Brooke, i SO needed to hear this. it’s so crucial to know that someone else is wrestling with the same questions that i am and has come to an encouraging conclusion that is founded in truth! thank you for being honest and supportive when you don’t even know i need it. your blog and the scripture discussed is always a breath of fresh air!


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